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The Internet Traffic Report monitors the flow of data around the world. It then displays a value between zero and 100. Higher values indicate faster and more reliable connections.


MARCH 2017

It really is important that you read this - especially if you are less experienced on your computer

This is a quick piece to warn villagers as a local resident has just fallen for the trick - I will tidy it up later.

You are sitting quietly at home and your phone rings. The people who call you may well have you proper name and address, even you other details as they get the numbers from corrupt call centres. Just because someone says they are from BT does not mean they are from BT or Microsoft or anyone else for that matter

The person at the end of the phone says that they are from Microsoft (or an ISP such as BT or Talk Talk etc.) and they say that your computer is reporting that it has viruses and they have rung you to help you solve the problem. After some scare mongering when they mention viruses and people hacking your computer they get you to press some unfamiliar keys on your keyboard and open a window which shows loads of errors. This is a fake window!

As soon as anyone on the phone mentions the "Windows key" or "the flag key" HANG UP The key is the one with four squares on it bottom left of your keyboard - when did you last use that key?!

Eventually after keeping you talking, making lots of worriessome comments and getting you to visit certain web pages they are able to take over your computer. After this the next trick is to lock up your machine and insist that it's you who did it but they will help you if you pay them money. The alternative is to offer a lifetime repair service. All this is a SCAM too.

The callers just want to get inside your computer so that they can install nasty software that monitors your usage such as your bank log in details.

Microsoft NEVER EVER ring you to tell you there is a problem with your computer. BT never ring you, NONE of the other ISPs ring you either. The internet is too big and NOBODY has the time to ring you. It's a scam.

PLEASE please heed this warning. One villager just lost their entire bank account access while they cleaned out her account. This happened in Horsted Keynes in March 2017. BE WARNED!


If you are worried about disposing of the old hard drive in your computer then we are happy to help you wipe it clean. Just give us a ring. Incidentally the recent BBC report was (as usual) didn't tell the whole story. They didn't mange to get hold of bank log in details, did they?

December 13th 2005 (updated 10 February 2006) when the BBC caught on to the problem!)

A new and very nasty programme type called Hijackware

In the notes that follow we have tried vary hard not to swear or be abusive to the "people" who write the sort of programme that we are about to discuss but from our attitude you may gather that we don't think much of them.

So what is "hijackware"?

Quite simply you download what seems like a helpful free programme like SpyAxe which purports to scan your computer for nasties and then remove them - do NOT at any time even visit the SpyAxe page by the way!

You install this programme and suddenly your computer slows to a crawl, your internet home page is fixed on some very odd site, you get a pop up every 15 seconds often showing a couple of people who are obviously very much in love and when you try to delete the programme you find that you can't!

Well actually you can delete the programme but a second later it reappears in your task bar and the whole sorry state of affairs starts all over again! Your home page is locked, you can't alter any of your internet browser settings, and you can only visit certain internet pages!

Being well versed in internet affairs you do a Google search for something, anything that will help you, and find adverts for one of several programmes that claim they can help you. So in desperation you send off your 49 USD and eventually (if you are lucky) get a removal programme that restores your computer. (But be very careful as the restore programmes often contain spyware themselves!)

The unfortunate thing about this is that the people who write the removal programme are the same people who wrote SpyAxe in the first place! It is a complex scam to separate you from your money and far more worryingly to get hold of your credit card numbers! Be VERY, VERY careful! If you even see anything about SpyAxe KEEP AWAY!

Unless or until the major market players do something about this new internet threat do NOT rely on Norton or AdAware to get you out of trouble!

So, aren't we going to tell you how all this works and how to remove this stuff? We wish that we knew. There ARE ways to remove this stuff without paying out money but they involve hard registry hacking, something that we don't recommend unless you are VERY careful. Even then two of the programme parts are named EXACTLY the same as vital Windows files. Be very, very, VERY careful!

If you feel brave try looking here for impartial help...

There are rumours that the new version of Microsoft Anti Spyware tool may help stop this nasty. By all means try it if you Windows is 100% legal as you will need to verify your installation before downloading Microsoft Anti Spyware! Look at...

More as soon as we have it. Please look back.

BEWARE MoviePass at work!

Following on from the Spyaxe problems (see above) comes another nasty from the American internet this time one called MoviePass. The main trouble with this software is that it is legal - well sort of - and THAT is what causes the problems!

Lets say that you download a movie clip and it says that you require a certain piece of software to make it watchable. No trouble you click the suggested link and install the recommended viewer, in this case one called MoviePass.

On the way through the installation it asks for your name, street and email address, and you then get a page of conditions, never read them do we, and they are in legalese anyway so you press "accept". All very simple, and all very legal, but that is where they have you.

You see the terms and conditions that you just legally accepted allow the programme writers to say that you have 3 days to try out their software and if you don't want to keep it you must delete the installation within that self same 3 days. Not only that you also have to telephone the customer service centre in the USA BEFORE uninstalling the software or it self-reinstalls.

Don't do it in this order, or plain don't bother and the next term or condition is enforced. This says that you have accepted that you owe them nearly $400 for a years' “service”, that they can use ALL of your hard drive for whatever they wish, that they can use ALL of your broadband bandwidth for whatever they wish, that they can take a note of ALL the software on your computer “top prevent conflicts”, PLUS they can keep putting "reminders to pay" on your screen with such rapidity that in the end it effectively makes your computer lock up!

Now, because you have "accepted" all these conditions it appears that you can do nothing to complain, and if you don't pay your $400, and pretty dam quick in the USA anyway they, quite literally, "send the boys round". Debt collectors who demand payment, plus their costs and they also put a mark on your credit rating as a "default" (remember this is a perfectly legal debt!)

I know, I know, you have read these warnings before on all the scam emails except this time it IS true, and at the moment it IS legal (in the USA anyway), and who cares whether it is legal, the programme writers have put at least 5 extra programmes on your computer which ties it in knots anyway!

Before people say that the software can be easily removed or to do a simple system restore then I'm afraid the virus, oops sorry programme writers, have thought of all that. In the second version of their software anyway it's just like SpyAxe very, very hard to remove.

This has now happened to two of my customers, both gentlemen who I introduced to computers and both men have paid up!

This warning IS genuine, try looking here, and NEVER, EVER download MoviePass!


Last year we complained to the Advertising Standards Authority about an advert from PC World where they claimed that their computer would connect to the internet faster when in fact it wouldn't. PC World were made to pull the advert and promised to be more careful in the future. Well they haven't learned much as PC World are at it again. 

In their recent advertisement (September 2005) PC World are advertising a Packard Bell R4 laptop PC with a standard Wi-Fi wireless connection. Nothing wrong in that except that they state that this standard wireless connection computer can connect to the internet ANYWHERE!

Now if you are new to computers you may not understand that you have to have a nearby wireless hotspot access point to actually connect to the outside world. As you may know we run a free wireless access point here in Horsted Keynes but they are few and far between - indeed we know of only half a dozen other free access points in the whole of Sussex!

If you prefer to pay for your internet access then you choice is wider, indeed there are pay as you surf points 5 miles South of Horsted Keynes in Haywards Heath, 6 miles North in East Grinstead, 8 Miles West in Crawley and 11 miles East in Uckfield. These BT Open Zone points have a range of a couple of hundred metres but that isn't what anyone could describe as ANYWHERE! Certainly isn't like a mobile 'phone is it?

So if you are thinking of buying the PC World EasyNote R4 range of notebook computers please be aware that to connect to the internet you will either have to have a wireless network at home or be within range of another wireless network. Without these you simply cannot connect!

By the way these computers are quite good value except for the keyboard which is lousy! If you would like to read a full review please get in touch and we will see what we can do for you.


March 22nd. 2005
Are you a zombie?

If you doubt our warnings about viruses just read this BBC News Report!
After you have digested it get in touch if your machine is running slow!!

Updating Norton or any other anti-virus program is NO LONGER enough. To protect your computer from viruses and worms you MUST perform a "Windows update" at least every month. So far this year we have visited 7 villagers who have NEVER updated their system since it was new - ALL had a virus or worm (or both) on their computer, one unfortunate local had 11 viruses and 17 processes running - a new village record! *RECORD DECIMATED See here
This information has to brought to the attention of ALL local computer users, which is why this page is here.
If you have no idea what a "Windows update" is or how to perform one, please either visit
or give us a ring...we are here to help. If you have installed Windows XP Service Pack 2 then you are much less likely to be affected. Install it (or get us to do it for you) TODAY!


11% of our visitors now use Mozilla browser!

Seems that Microsoft may be worried, as you will see from above more than 9% of our visitors now use the Mozilla browser to view our pages. Another interesting fact, can you guess what is the most popular search term that brings users to our pages? Nope, it's not "Church History", or even "Service Pack 2 information", neither is it a simple "Horsted Keynes". The most popular search term is "Graveyard Pictures". Yup, the internet IS mad!

A quick answer to a quick question *

What is the difference between Windows XP Business and Windows XP Home? This is a question that we are always being  asked and interestingly the answer is nothing to do with what you use the system for; it is all to do with where you run it!

If you are at home then you are unlikely to have data that is so secret that it has to be double encoded. The password protection offered by Windows XP Home is plenty good enough. This also applies to a medium to small business. If you have real secrets don't store them on the computer when not in use, burn them to a disk and keep it in a fireproof safe. Remember if you have something on your computer that could cause you embarrassment or worse if discovered, the authorities can get at it no matter how hard you try to protect it - this applies to both Windows versions, business is no safer as far as that goes!

If your computer is installed in a large organisation then it will obviously be connected to a network system for file and letter sharing etc. This is where the Business version comes into its own as it includes lots of extra security devices. These do not protect your system against viruses and worms any better but do protect your data from being looked at by other people on the network.

So if your computer is set up in Microsoft House and you as Bill Gates don't want your staff to see how much you earn use the Business version. Everybody else, even those in business can save money and use the Windows XP Home Edition!

*Please don't use this answer to make business decisions, there are conditions and exceptions to the above, get professional advice.

You are not reading this page, you really should!

Villagers might think us a little forward in pushing Windows updates at every opportunity, but visits to two local families both with teenage daughters have proved our cautions right. Both children were heavy users of the Kazaa song and file sharing service and both had worms and viruses on their system - LOTS OF THEM! The effect was that eventually neither system would connect to the Internet like it used to, cutting out at every opportunity and flashing warnings over every programme at every opportunity. Even typing a simple letter was impossible on one machine.

On investigation one family computer was found to have just over 400 worms, on the other more than 830 nasties were found! Both had more than 50 processes running when ctrl/alt/delete was pressed and it took us a long time to restore their computers to good order.

PLEASE take in what you read this page, we don't get much out of it - in fact it costs us money to run - but you might just save yourself the cost of a new computer ;-).

If we do save you money then contributions to cover our costs are always welcome! (subtle hint) Your webmasters.

 The "Teddy Bear" Email

It's funny how some people will do what an email tells them without a seconds thought, isn't it?
Let's take one hoax that has been doing the rounds for the at least 5 years and STILL catches people out. You get an email out of the blue from one of your friends which tells you to delete some files on your computer. Now your friend knows next to nothing about computers (we will see why in a minute) but because it appears to come from someone who you correspond with on a regular basis you do what he or she says, don't you? Why? Ask a psychologist!

The email says that there is this terrible new virus which has just appeared and it is soo dreadful that nobody, not Microsoft, nor AOL, or Intel, or even NASA can do anything about it! It goes on to say that the anti-virus companies like Norton have just given up and are even now shutting up shop.

However your "friend" says that they know how to remove the nasty and all you have to do is follow thir instructions and delete some files on your computer. Which you then do and surprise, surprise your computer stops working!  Sounds likely, doesn't it? Yet people STILL do what they are told in this email and delete files on their hard disk!

Let's face it, new viruses DO appear, but if they are THAT bad then it will have been mentioned on the news ; and even these are cured by Norton and the other major anti-virus houses in a few hours. So if YOU get such a warning email, do what others who follow like lemmings don't do, DO NOT DELETE ANY FILES just delete the email before it can do any more harm. REMEMBER NEVER delete files and NEVER ever pass the warning message on!

If you HAVE fallen for the above scam and have deleted files then unfortunately you will find problems on your computer sooner or later. If you leave it until later then the re-installation job will be the larger, the engineer will have to spend even more time and it will cost you more.

PLEASE remember this BEFORE you delete anything,
and if you HAVE been caught then get it fixed quickly!

Here is the wording of a typical scam email.....

Remember the following email is a SCAM - IGNORE IT!

I found the little bear in my machine because of that I am sending this message in order for you to find it in your machine. It is the worst virus ever seen and cannot be cured once activated. You simply have to buy a new computer as your present one will become unrepairable. The procedure to fix it is very simple:

The objective of this e-mail is to warn all Hotmail users about a new virus that is spreading by MSN Messenger. The name of this virus is jdbgmgr.exe and it is sent automatically by the Messenger and by the address book too. The virus is not detected by McAfee or Norton and it stays quiet for 14 days before damaging the system. After that your entire system will fail and you will have to buy a new computer! There is NO cure to this evil virus and the anti-virus companies agree too! Microsoft have ordered thousands of new computers to replace all the ones destroyed by this virus.

You MUST delete it NOW without waiting!

The virus can be cleaned before it deletes the files from your system. In order to eliminate it, it is just necessary to do the following steps:
1. Go to Start, click "Search"
2.- In the "Files or Folders option" write the name jdbgmgr.exe
3.- Be sure that you are searching in the drive "C"
4.- Click "find now"
5.- If the virus is there (it has a little bear-like icon with the name of jdbgmgr.exe DO NOT OPEN IT FOR ANY REASON
6.- Right click and delete it (it will go to the Recycle bin)
7.- Go to the recycle bin and delete it or empty the recycle bin.



You can check for the latest real viruses together with the latest virus hoaxes at the top of this page 

Got NetoDragon modem troubles?

If your new modem came from PC World, EBuyer, or any of the other major computer suppliers and is listed as a NetoDragon modem then read on. These modems work immediately in some systems but cause no end of trouble in others systems where they often refuse to connect, refuse to detect a dial tone, connect at stupid low speeds, and are just a pain. On one newsgroup there are 44 negative reports about this modem. Some people just remove them and throw them in the rubbish bin!

If this includes you then try the following, it has solved dozens of problems for us and other users too. Please report your results back to us even if it doesn't work for you.

Open your system Control Panel and then find the "Phone and Modem Options" button. Click there and look inside for an entry for your NetoDragon modem. You MAY have inadvertently installed the modem with the wrong identification especially if you bought it from PC World who ship a disk containing lots of different drivers and don't tell you which one to use! Now look for a "Modem country" or similar setting. (In these instructions we are assuming that you are in the UK).

If your computer was installed and set up properly your modem will be shown as being in the United Kingdom. Change this setting to the United States of America. (We have NOT gone mad and DO know that the US telephone system is nothing like ours).

Close the control panel and reboot your computer (even if it is running XP).

Now try connecting with your "unreliable" modem! We think that you will be amazed to find a connection speed of at least 48k first time, every time. Not only that, your dial tone will be detected first time, every time!

We believe that a batch of these modems have been sold with wrongly configured firmware. Unfortunately you can't "flash" these troublesome beasts so we have to "lie" to the modem to tell it is in the wrong country to get it to use the correct protocol which is wrongly labelled. (uh? - We know what we mean ;-) If you are not in the UK or if the USA setting doesn't work for you and you have got time on your hands then try setting the modem to each country in turn. You will need to restart each time you change settings (even with Windows XP) to reset the modem internal workings which only looks at its internal settings when it boots up. This procedure WILL take time but it MAY save you having to buy a new modem.


We understand that Spanish and Portuguese telephone system users need to set their modems to "South Africa"! Yes indeed, this IS a strange beast! PLEASE report other countries back to us and we will try to set up a list here of which country works on which setting.

If the above works for your system (or even if it doesn't work) please get in touch. Please email us at (replace -at- with @)

How to change the resolution of your computer display

We have always tried to arrange the HorstedKeynes.Com site so that it looks best at the resolution used by most users. When the internet started the setting of choice was 600 x 480, later 800 x 600 took over, and lately with flat screen monitors becoming the norm 1024 x 768 is popular. If our pages don't line up or look "lop sided" then the problem may well be that you are viewing in a different resolution to our optimum setting. We have tried to accommodate all resolutions with our setup and try the pages on 800x600 and 1024x768 before uploading however some users like to change their setting. So how do you change the resolution of your computer screen and will it do any harm?

If your computer desktop has been set up with lots of icons then changing resolution will possibly rearrange the position of these on screen links. If you are running Windows XP however the icons should return to their previous position when you change resolution back after looking at the internet. If you are not into computers then perhaps ask a friend to help you or ring us where you will get computer help in the village.

So how do you change the resolution?

Close or minimise all open windows to show the computer desktop (which is what you see when the computer is first switched on). Now select a BLANK part of the desktop without any icons on it and right click, up pops a small list. On this list left click Properties and you will see a page called Display Properties. Click the right hand end at the top marked Settings.

Now you have reached the right bit! Make a note of what the slider is set to so that you know what to go back to when you are finished. Now just slide the slider on the bottom left to read 800 x 600 or 1024 x 768 and "OK" your way out. If your computer is set up properly you will be shown the page at the new resolution for 15 seconds to allow you to click that you like the new resolution or reject it if you don't like it. If you don't click anything for 15 seconds then the display will drop back to what it was before and you will have lost nothing, but if you are brave just click Accept, reopen your browser, and enjoy!

To get back to your previous resolution just go back to the Settings page and return the slider to what it was before. Simple!

Although we hate to have to type this and are no fans of Microsoft, our site is best viewed with Internet Explorer! As an alternative you might like to try Mozilla Firefox to view the internet, a program which is totally free and liked by many users. Click this link to download.

Get Firefox!


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