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  YOU ARE IN: COMPUTERS
 
Get Firefox!
 
 Jellyfish Swim School 07950 127517

The Internet Traffic Report monitors the flow of data around the world. It then displays a value between zero and 100. Higher values indicate faster and more reliable connections.

FRIENDLY - WARNING - WARNING - WARNING!

Please ALWAYS  make a note of the password and your other settings to connect to the internet (an identity probably containing the letters DSL and a password NEITHER the same as your email), plus the connection to your router (probably something like a user name and password), and your email settings (that's connection details, password, pop, smtp, and security, plus possibly a secure port number). When you have the details write them down on a piece of paper and put it behind the clock on the mantelpiece - do NOT save it on your computer! Why? We have just spent 5 HOURS waiting on the phone trying to speak to a particularly unhelpful ISP when the villager left their laptop on the London train! They had a new computer but could not get at their email. If you don't know what the settings are look them up NOW! It might save your sanity plus a LOT of money. p.s. Despite being geniuses we can no more guess your settings than we can your bank card pin number! ;-)

HARD TO FIND ARGOS WEBCAM DRIVER - JUST £2-50

If you have a webcam from Argos probably with the name Mikomi on it and looking like the above photos? Then you may have lost the disk that came with it which is essential should you require to reinstall your camera at a later date. We can't give you a definite manufacturer as it was made by different people but ONE of the Argos codes was 676/6283, it may well have been sold under other codes. It sold for about £15 or so.

This webcam is very small just over 1 inch or so (35cm) in height and less wide (30cm), has a clip to attach to a laptop lid which folds back to make a small sort of stand and it rotates on its stand too. There is often no maker shown and on the back is usually just a serial number, a C and an E and a crossed out dustbin. It often came with a USB lead on a small roll up device that coils up when you pull both ends of the lead at once. We have pictures one such as supplied above.

Now obviously you can look on line for the correct driver (if you can identify the camera correctly!) but unfortunately you may find that the links from the most well known driver site leads to - the wrong drivers! In fact installing this driver can upset your add and remove programmes file in that it shows as being over 5Gig in size! Oh, the site will sell you the right driver but before getting it you have to join their "club" of course and you have to give them your credit card details too! On top of this when you do get the the download you will find that it is a RAR file, in an obscure Russian script which requires another download from a Russian server to unscramble! All in all a bit of a mess for such a popular camera sold by one of the UK's largest retailers!

We had this problem and had great difficulty obtaining the correct drivers. In the end we went out and bought a second camera! Now that we have the correct (updated) drivers we are happy to let you have a copy for just £2.50, paid by PayPal. This payment goes towards the cost of running our village web site.

If you would like a copy of the driver please click below to send us £2.50 by PayPal and we will send you a link to a copy of our download. The download is just over 2Meg in a simple zip file which any computer can open, so won't take very long!

If you would like a copy of our drivers for the above Argos supplied webcam then please click the PayPal button below. Once you have paid - you do NOT need to open a PayPal account if you don't want to - then you will be taken to a page with the link to download your drivers immediately.

Any problems do not HESITATE to get in touch!

Please click here to buy the driver described above for the "Mikomi" type webcam from Argos

 

Major broadband outage
April 5th. 2009

Most villagers got their broadband back on Sunday afternoon after a major outage caused by a fire in East London caused them to lose connection for almost a whole day.

BT issued the following statement late on Saturday evening...

"The fault is located deep in a tunnel, deep level structural damage and high CO2 levels mean that BT will be unable to resolve this incident by repairing the existing infrastructure. Mobile units currently on route to the site and will be used to set up temporary connectivity bypassing the affected tunnel span. It is estimated that all necessary equipment should have arrived on site, been configured and a work-around put in place for all affected services by 5pm this evening. Due to the scale of this incident BT are unable to re-route any individual circuits as they do not have the capacity elsewhere to be able to cope with this..."

Despite supplying many different ISPs connections from the Dane Hill exchange in fact all use the same BT 144 Meg/Second "pipe" to talk to the outside word, in fact using a microwave connection to Tunbridge Wells. This means that whether you use BT, Tiscali, NDO, AOL or any internet service provider your computer will send its signals down this same connection.

We are using our back-up Three wireless broadband connection to tell villagers what is happening as it seems that many ISP's customer service departments close down over the weekend so there is nobody available to help.

If you are able to get on line (and of course dial up still works at times like these) then you can check here as we will try to use this page to keep you up to date. Our site doesn't use any fancy coding so our pages should load quickly whatever connection you use during the emergency.

If the emergency had continued then we would have suggested the purchase of a Three wireless broadband dongle. These can be purchased for under £30 with a Gig of connectivity costing £10 for one month and three Gig for a month costing £15. Alternatively a dongle complete with 12 Gig of connectivity valid for one whole year costs £99.

Can we make a suggestion? Touch nothing to try to get your connection back, except perhaps trying rebooting your router or modem, when broadband returns it will connect automatically. If you fiddle it will make no difference and when things do eventually return to normal you will have to put everything back as it was before before you are able to reconnect!

Apparently some villagers were STILL without service on Monday. At 13.00 BT issued the following statement...

"BT can confirm that, following significant damage by a third party to cables in a deep underground tunnel, a large number of customers in parts of East London are currently experiencing a loss of service. BT's engineers are working around the clock to restore service as quickly as possible. BT would like to apologies to all impacted customers.

Service has been restored to a significant number of customers, including police and other emergency customers, commercial customers and other communications provider circuits using alternative methods of connection. BT engineering teams are working to restore service to all remaining customers without service.

Given the complexity of the damage suffered, it is not yet possible to accurately predict when all services will be restored.

BT will issue further updates as the situation changes
.

 

If you get stuck, then as usual please give us a ring and we'll come round and get you going again!

Waiting to upgrade your xp computer? We recommend that you jump over Vista and wait for Windows7

We at HorstedKeynes.com have been playing around with an early copy of the latest Microsoft operating system which is to be called Windows7.

Now if you are not a computer aficionado you may not know that after the very popular WindowsXP Microsoft issued an operating system called Windows Vista. Many think this was a great mistake as when issued Vista did not work with many common accessories such as printers and scanners. Indeed it was nearly one year before many new drivers were released to make these older accessories work. You may be prepared to wait a year to print out a letter to your bank manager but many other people are not, so sales of a set of new accessories often accompanied sales of vista computers!

As soon as this information became public knowledge many, many people decided to reject Vista and stick with their old XP computer. Sales of Vista plummeted and even today they are not anywhere like as high as expected by Microsoft. So Microsoft have brought forward the issue of the replacement to Vista which as noted above is to simply be called Windows7.

So have Microsoft learned their lesson with their new operating system? - Yes we think they have!

Plug in an old printer to a Windows7 computer and it is perfectly happy to use an XP or Vista or even a Windows 200 driver to get the accessory working, after this it will actually go on line and keep looking for a more recent driver, download it and then install it - all without ANY human intervention!

Yes on first sight we think that Windows7 is much better than Vista. If you are thinking of buying a new computer then we earnestly recommend that you wait to buy until later in 2009 when Windows7 proper is released.

We will add to this log as soon as possible.

If in the mean time you would like to try Windows7 for yourself then please get in touch and we will be able to help you with a free demonstration copy, called a "Beta". You will though need a separate computer (or at the very least a spare hard drive) to try it on, at this early Beta stage we most certainly do not recommend that you install the new operating system on your only home computer. Even Microsoft can make mistakes (that's a joke by the way) and you might well lose all your work when you have to reformat your hard drive when the beta demo copy runs out later in the year!

So how does Windows7 feel and look?

The first impression is that of a mix between Vista and XP. the graphics are chunky (but can be toned down) and the screen is clean and easy to use. We are not so interested in appearances however, it's what goes on when you plug the computer in that interests us and most villagers.

The one problem that we have found is the same as Vista in that the 7 machine does not show connected network computers. Where this is very different from Vista however is that the 7 computer CAN see and get information from the network it just does not show the connection on a screen. No doubt Microsoft are working on this omission for their next Beta due out in the Spring. After this should come the First release candidate, then possibly the Second candidate. After that the Betas will start to run out as Windows7 proper is released to the public.

Can we point out that if you want to try the Betas you have to register with Microsoft, this is free and easy to do. Do it NOW and you may well get a discount voucher for your purchase of the final release of Windows7.

 

The following computer is sold but we can get another if you want it


FOR SALE BY HORSTEDKEYNES.COM TO HELP COVER OUR HOSTING EXPENSES


BRAND NEW - TITANIUM CASED
“COMMUTER COMPUTER”


It's not a huge remote, it's a tiny computer that nevertheless still has it all.
Metal case, just 1" thin, it's even got a built in camera!

This is a photo of our computer - your new one is still in the box.

If you are fed up with lugging your present laptop to the office every day then consider the following specification which is all contained in a tiny titanium case and despite having a “desktop” specification weighs just 1Kg.

 We’ve bought several of these new computers, one for us to use, and the others to sell on to benefit the village web site. In this way we can ALL get a brand new high ‘spec compact computer for a discounted price! This  absolutely BRAND NEW laptop computer made by the professional manufacturer HP and is the size and weight of a small book yet has the following quite amazing features. We have upgraded the operating system to Windows XP SP3 and installed lots and lots of extra software too!

 Remember this is a Windows XP computer – it is NOT the Linux version which can have a much lower specification. We also include more than £600 worth of Microsoft software, Word, etc., all installed and activated ready to go!

  • Titanium Metal Case – Strong, Lightweight and wear resistant, it looks great too.

  • 120 Gig ‘DriveGuard’ Hard Drive that helps protect data if your computer is dropped.

  • 92% full size keyboard with all the normal keys, touch typing is a doddle!

  • 1 Gig RAM – expandable to 2 Gig.

  • All buttons and switches are made of metal – made to really last.

  • Built in Camera

  • Wireless Internet with “aeroplane” wireless off switch on the front.

  • Bluetooth inside

  • Network socket

  • Card Reader Slot

  • New Style ExpressCard/5 4 accessory slot for 3G wireless internet etc.

  • USB new style powered socket.

  • Brilliant quality HD Wide Screen display with 1280 x 768 resolution.

  • Windows XP Service Pack 3 Genuine Advantage, fully updated

  • Really Hi-Fi speakers and stereo microphones, ideal for internet chats.

  • Microsoft XP Word, Access, Power Point, Excel, Front Page all fully installed, activated, ready to use, NOT 60 day demo, plus anti-virus, DVD Player software (to watch pre recorded TV and films on the train!

 All in a case that is just over 10” wide and just over 6” from front to back, less than 1” thick it weighs about 1Kg. So easy to carry or put in your briefcase, plus it fits safely in your glove compartment! This is ideal if you commute as it sits neatly on the train table or your lap, yet it can do all that your full size desktop computer can and more. Use it to watch last nights TV too, with its 120Gig hard drive you'll get to the office before the programmes run out - even if it's in New York.

 These computers are boxed, fully guaranteed (INCLUDING the battery - very rare) and absolutely BRAND NEW, indeed they only came out of the factory last month!

 FOR SALE to villagers at an unbelievable £359.
And we include over £400 worth of extra software!  

If you’d like to know more please ring 791624 or email webmaster@horstedkeynes.com

SUSSEX RECONDITIONED COMPUTERS READY FOR SALE FROM THE VILLAGE

We are often asked if we can supply a spare or second computer at a low price. Maybe your home computer has gone wrong, perhaps you just want a spare or something for the kids.

While we have always been able to make up a computer for villagers they often want one immediately. Because of this we will from now on try to have at least one or two set up ready to go. All sales help with the cost of running your village web site.

All these computers are thoroughly and carefully reconditioned, tested and set up with a fully registered legal version of Windows as well as other programmes already installed to get you up and running right away. All come with a Genuine Advantage Microsoft label proving they are fitted with fully registered versions of Windows.

To save costs we do not include a monitor in these prices although they can usually be supplied from about £50 extra if required. If you want a computer for the kids or just a backup computer remember to look here first. Remember if anything goes wrong we are here in the village ready to help.

Also please bear in mind that we also have lots of accessories including network plugs, sockets, broadband filters and leads which we are happy to sell if required. You get the parts the same day without paying for petrol or postage and packing and it all helps with our website costs.

The following are examples and may no longer be available...

FOR SALE LOW PRICE DESKTOP COMPUTER

 PHOTO
GOES
HERE

Older but perfectly acceptable computer complete with matching keyboard and mouse in a smaller than average desktop case. Ideal as spare or for the kids to use. Perfectly fast enough for broadband internet, email, letter writing, etc.

  • 1.2 Gig Processor

  • 40 Gig Hard Drive

  • 250 Meg RAM

  • DVD Drive and Software

  • Network socket for broadband

  • Modem

  • Front and Rear USB sockets

  • Supplied with matching keyboard and mouse

Complete with Windows XP Service Pack 3, a free version of AVG Anti-Virus and lots of other software too!

FOR SALE locally for just £80 including delivery

FOR SALE GENUINE DELL MICRO DESKTOP COMPUTER

This Dell computer has a fast 2 Ghz genuine Pentium 4 processor as well as 500 Gig of memory. It is in a micro compact case that can sit ON your desktop underneath your monitor. In this way all connections are right to hand and your monitor sits at eye level. If you prefer the unique design can instead sit on its side the floor when it fits neatly under your desk. As well as normal email, broadband internet and letters etc., this machine is fast enough to run many games and even edit your videos.

  • 2 Gig Pentium 4 processor

  • 120 Gig Hard Drive

  • Half Gig RAM

  • DVD Drive and Software

  • Network built in for Broadband

  • Front and Rear sound and USB sockets

  • Supplied with genuine Dell keyboard and mouse

Complete with Windows XP Service Pack 3 and lots of extra software.

FOR SALE locally for just £130 including delivery

FOR SALE GENUINE DELL 2.4 GIG LAPTOP COMPUTER

This 15" Dell Inspiron laptop cost £700 new and comes complete with built in WiFi and a lightning fast 2.4 Gig processor - it rocks! There is half a gig of super fast memory and a 40 Gig hard drive. Being a Dell this laptop is really built to last, it's as solid as a rock yet light enough to sit on your lap. Although this computer runs for a reasonable time on the replicable built in battery because this is a reconditioned computer and to keep the price down we cannot guarantee the battery longevity. Replacements are readily available from the Dell website.

Ideal if you want a small footprint computer to sit on your desk.

  • Built in WiFi for Wireless Broadband (NOT an external add-on)

  • 2.4 Gig Pentium 4 processor

  • 40 Gig Hard Drive

  • Half Gig RAM

  • DVD "Combo" Drive and Software

  • Network built in for Broadband

  • Modem

  • Sound and USB sockets

Complete with Windows XP Service Pack 3 and lots of extra software.

FOR SALE locally for just £180 including delivery
For a GENUINE Dell laptop this is an absolute bargain

 AVG update is "mucking about" at present

We know that many people in the village use the AVG antivirus programme. You may be getting warning about your AVG being unable to update at the moment. Don't worry this does occasionally happen. We suggest that you just keep waiting for a few days while AVG sort it out. You should be covered as it is only the updates that are giving problems.

Whatever you do do not try to reinstall the programme in the hope that this will clear the problem - it won't as the installation will not complete without an update. We are here to help if you get stuck.

 

Orite Audio IP-Cam (IC301) Firmware Update - HERE!

The above is a popular camera that connects to your home or business network and enables you to look at the picture at home or anywhere on the internet. Like many specialised units the manufacturer seems to have disappeared from the internet which is unfortunate as the original firmware is a bit tatty.

There is a genuine update available but is very, very hard to find. We use several of these cameras and have the last firmware update made which is version 02.08.03EN.OR01R. If your camera shows a different firmware version then you would be well advised to update it.

We have copies here, please get in touch if you'd like one, it's only a Meg in size so very easy to download, and the update procedure is quite painless.  No charge although we'd always welcome a donation after you have updated your camera and found how much better and easier it is to use! ;-)  Please email  webmaster - at -horstedkeynes.com to get a copy.

Orite IP Cam IC 301 Version 2.08.03. Firmware update download - for the search engines

 

COMPUTER GETTING SLOWER AND SLOWER? WE'LL SORT IT FOR YOU!

It's quite amazing how many village computers have slowed down to a crawl lately. There can be many causes but the cure does NOT usually involve the purchase of a new computer nor in most cases much money! Please get in touch if you would like some help.

Worried about upgrading to wireless?

As many of you know we are pleased to help villagers with their computer problems. Since Christmas it seems that just about everyone in Horsted Keynes wants to go wireless - and it also seems that many people are apprehensive about getting their system to work.

If this includes you then please give us a ring 791624 or drop us an email. We have set up well over 100 wireless networks in our time - and they all work!

We can  either fit a kit that you already have or supply the whole thing, it's up to you.

So if you'd like help, or you just get stuck half way, you know where to come!

HORSTED KEYNES . COM RECOMMEND NETGEAR FOR NETWORKING!

 

Don't let Dell mislead you!

We were recently asked if we could meet the price for a laptop on the Dell website. They had what appeared to be a genuine Dell wide screen laptop for £299 including delivery! Now we all know that Dell have a base price for a computer that will just about run but when you go into the details to get a full specification computer you have to pay more - a lot more. When we looked into the prices we found that we couldn't even buy a basic Dell computer for this price trade! So what is happening?

Quite simply Dell used to offer really high quality computers - some would say built like the proverbial tank - but they were solid and worked and lasted for ages. Now it seems that Dell are meeting a demand for rock bottom cheap laptops by selling computers that they are buying ready made in bulk from China and are just budged as Dell.

OK that's fine anyone is allowed to sell whatever they like as long as they don't mislead, but naturally the public see what they think is the bargain of the year, a computer that is the same build quality as any other Dell computer for a bargain price. We were taught that if something looks too good to be true it probably IS!

So please - make sure that you are comparing like with like, one Dell is NOT like another. Don't be mislead!

 

Replacement for Vista "out in Beta inside 18 months"

If you, like us are still waiting to upgrade to Windows Vista we thought that you might be interested to hear what is the latest on the rumour mill. It is that Vista is "so popular" that the replacement (called "Windows 7" by the designers) is to be released in Beta form "within 18 months"!

Now even if this is not true it certainly does seem to confirm that Vista is a huge problem for Microsoft, and that's not forgetting their customers too!

If we hear more we will pass it on but we aren't rushing out to obtain 9 copies of Vista for the computers in our home. That's even at the latest price of £40! Yup, Microsoft have stopped checking and it seems that anyone can obtain and install the reduced price education version of Vista even if the nearest they come to education is watching "Play School" on TV!

If you have children, or even know a child then you are fully entitled to this discount too. Don't waste your money!

It seems that Windows 7 will have some great features. For example you will  be able to go to any computer, anywhere - as long as it's on line of course - and get your own desktop, emails, even programmes as you use them. Now that might be well worth having. Seems that Vista might turn into another Windows ME. An operating system that people are embarrassed to have on their computer.

 RUN TWO COMPUTERS WITH JUST ONE MONITOR,
MOUSE & KEYBOARD!
 

SAVE DESK SPACE OR RUN YOUR LAPTOP ON THE SAME KEYBOARD!

We have for sale a clever little device which attaches to two computers so that you can run them both on a single monitor, mouse and keyboard!
Incorporates an electronic switch to select one computer without upsetting the other one. (Normally a computer objects when you disconnect anything while it is switched on)

 FOR SALE Complete with all necessary leads for just £20 if you collect it from us.
Alternatively we will deliver locally and set it up for you for £30.

 PLEASE RING HORSTEDKEYNES.COM ON 791624

SUITABLE FOR DELL AND MOST OTHER COMPUTERS
Your computers must have standard PS2 connectors for mouse and keyboard -
(the normal round green and mauve connectors that almost all computers have).
We can supply suitable mice and keyboards if necessary.

 

Windows ME and Windows 98 users must upgrade NOW!

It's been a long time coming but Microsoft announced that from 11th July 2006 they will no longer support or help in any way with the above versions of the Windows operating system. Beyond that they will no longer issue ANY UPDATES for these users so pretty soon it will be stupid to use these on the internet.

 

This is rather important if you like to keep your computer activity secret!

We are currently writing this notice so you may see some errors in punctuation etc.

Are you seeing a new warning on your screen which says that your copy of Microsoft software is counterfeited? If so you are not alone in the village and your software is possibly perfectly OK! By the way did you know that your computer now contacts Microsoft EVERY TIME that you switch it on and tells them your location and enough details so that they could contact you? We bet that one escaped your knowledge! Read on...

Microsoft, who are beginning to act rather more like Big Brother than Big Brother have updated your computer with a new piece of software which checks if your Windows software is valid and not counterfeited. Well we suppose that they should be allowed to do that, but the story goes a little further than that.

Firstly the software is giving lots of "false negatives" in other words telling villagers that their computer contains illegal software when it doesn't. The reason for this is somewhat complex but involves blocked ActiveX and ports on routers. All beyond the average user of course. Microsoft are "working on a solution". We can offer an instant solution, stop checking!

Unfortunately the self same software has been designed to "ring home" or communicate with Microsoft EVERY TIME that you switch on your computer, or if you are the sort of person to leave your machine on all the time it rings home at the same time each day.

You will LOVE Microsoft's explanation for all this! "We didn't know if the software had any errors so we designed it to call home each day so that we could turn it off if we needed to"! We kid you not!

Now we at HorstedKeynes.Com would have thought that software that worried legitimate computer users by telling them that they were using illegal software WOULD be classed as faulty, not by Microsoft though!

More as soon as we can.                                                                                                                  8 June 2006

 

Horsted Keynes now has (up to) 8 Meg Broadband!

We are delighted to announce - well let's face it nobody else has bothered - that the Dane Hill exchange has now been upgraded so that we can all have faster than 2Meg broadband, up to 8Meg for some villagers..

How does this work?

Provided your ISP can supply the faster service (they should have been in touch) you sign up for the new faster service. That's the easy bit, it then gets a bit more complicated (you thought that anything to do with broadband was easy?)...

On the day of changeover to the new higher speed you must reboot your router/modem or simply switch off your computer if you have a simple USB modem. Then EVERY day for the next ten days you must reboot your router/modem or again switch off your computer remembering to REMAIN ON LINE FOR AT LEAST 1 HOUR each time!

On each day the system will automatically try different connection speeds and will see which speeds are stable and which cause problems (this really should be transparent) but your connection speed may well seem to be a lot lower than the theoretical maximum of 8Meg. In practice we doubt that anyone in Horsted Keynes will get a connection speed above 5Meg, but this is still better than 1 or 2Meg that we get now.

This is IMPORTANT! At the end of 10 days (rebooting everyday remember) the system will have decided your best speed and will leave it set at that.

What happens if you change your equipment after that, time will tell, but we guess that a call to some automated computer at BT will start the whole business off again!

Once we have more experience of how the speed upgrades work we will report it here, so please look back.

 

Norton Antivirus now available on the internet free!

If your anti-virus is out of date you can now get a copy of Norton Antivirus 2005 complete with 6 months updates free!

Simply go to the new Google Software Pack http://pack.google.com/ where you will find the option to download lots of programmes. What you may not know is that you can select any, or all, or none of these programmes. Simply select the Norton download and that is all that you will get!

It is simple, you don't get spammed, and you have nothing to lose! We understand that this sudden volte-face is because Microsoft are to soon issue a free (for now!) addition to their present AntiSpyware programme offering an anti-virus component.

You may know that we have until recently thought that Norton were the best anti-virus makers in the market but recent updates to the software which can slow some computers immensely, are making us rethink our opinions. Perhaps we are not alone! This may be a reason why Norton are having to consider giving their software away!

Try it, and please let us know how it works for you.

 

 Beware what is not "included" with your new computer!

Several villagers who bought computers over Christmas have been well and truly "conned", hence this small article. What was wrong? Quite simply when you buy a computer these days the manufacturers (especially the household word ones who advertise a lot) often won't tell you clearly what software is included. You will assume that everything will be supplied, and manufacturers just love assumptions!

Obviously you will get a full version of Window XP Home edition included which is fine for controlling almost everything that you are likely to want to do with your computer but what about the programmes that actually do the work - Word for letter writing, Access for data bases, a photo editing package, an anti-virus and spyware programme. Until recently it would have gone without saying that all these programmes, and many more, would have been included in the package. This no longer applies!

Write letters is usually at the top of the list for new buyers and what will not be made clear is that if the manufacturers include a Microsoft product such as "Works" it may only be a demonstration version which expires after a few weeks! Likewise the anti-virus programme. In the olden days (last year) you would have got a fully functioning programme such as Norton or Mcafee and it would have worked for a year before asking you to pay to keep it up to date.

Today many manufacturers give just 4 weeks cover before expecting you to pay up to £60 for the next 12 months anti-virus cover. The odd thing is you can buy a full years cover in the shops for just £40!

Hence this warning if you are looking to buy a new computer. If you want to write letters, edit photos, or just look at the internet without catching a virus you will almost certainly have to pay a lot extra to do the job properly. Beware cheap computer offers - the manufacturers will want to get their money back one way or another!

p.s. We just heard of a villager who bought what they thought was a complete computer package and they didn't even get a keyboard or mouse!

 

The following is the text of an article to be published shortly...

Is your Windows installation legal?

Dozens of computers in the village are not running genuine Windows software. In this case “not genuine” does not mean counterfeit, it means that the key used to unlock the Windows has been used on another computer before.

In the past when Windows was very expensive it was common practice to use the key from a friend or colleague, or from the office to set up your home Windows computer. Now that a copy of Home Windows XP can be bought for about 50 quid (without installation) the reason for using a friends key is not nearly so valid, but there are still many people who are unknowingly running what Windows (who delight in scarring and intimidating its potential customers) still calls “fake” or “illegal”.

Building an operating system such as Windows is not an exact science. Indeed when Windows XP was first released it was quite literally “full of holes”, mistakes in the programming which anyone who knew what they were doing could use to either take over another machine, and cause it to crash, or more likely use it to “hijack” another computer and look inside to find credit card numbers, passwords etc.

For this reason Microsoft issue Windows updates on a regular basis, and if your Windows has been installed properly the updates are applied when the computer is otherwise idle, most people know nothing about it. Occasionally you may be asked to restart your machine when you are in the middle of something, but normally the actual work is done when you turn off your computer at night.

Now Microsoft are realists, and until recently they calculated that there must be many millions of computers running fake or clone keys, apparently 90% of Chinese Windows computer installations are in some way compromised! If all these computers remained unpatched the security of ALL internet users could be compromised. So until now Microsoft decided to not ask for any confirmation that your computer had a genuine Windows key before updating it with essential security related upgrades.

For a couple of years Microsoft have been phasing in a confirmation protocol for OTHER Windows XP updates, and especially updates that private users might want, such as the latest “Windows Media Player” which has now reached incarnation number 10. If you want to download this all singing and dancing (literally) media player then you have to go through what Microsoft calls “Genuine Advantage” checks before being given the software. Those in the know could sidestep this requirement in seconds, but for the average person in the street this did warn them if their Windows installation was fake so they could do something about it.

The clever part of this strategy was while most users didn’t mind if their music wouldn’t play with a pretty picture on the screen, they most certainly would object if they couldn’t type a letter or send an email. Gradually home users and especially the young who use their computers for entertainment more than work would in this way become aware that they were missing out on what their friends had if their installation wasn’t genuine.

Had Microsoft been more restrictive they could have prevented ANY upgrades to Windows systems without a definite verification each time. The main problem with doing this is, believe it or not, in-house computer departments who are renowned for not only employing “engineers” who rise to a level one above their knowledge and experience, but who are also renowned for taking every sidestep that they can.

A large business may have paid Microsoft for 1000 copies of Windows, which would give them a few CDs together with a list of 1000 genuine numbers. The fact is that an organisation with a large number of computers will have technical problems with some of them. Mix these faults in with such a large number of machines and it won’t take long for the actual machines to become muddled up. If each machine had a different 25 digit number attached to it and were that number required each time that a computer had to “check in” with Microsoft before any even vital updates, the whole enterprise could literally overnight grind to a technological halt! Therefore it is common practice for in-house technical support departments to use a SINGLE number for all their 1000 computers.

Following on from this it didn’t take their poorly paid employees – the ones that often knew a lot more about computers than their bosses - to work out that using a single number for all 1000 machines meant that there were 999 numbers which Microsoft had authorised but which were sitting completely unused in a drawer or residing on the in-house database. Couple this with easy ways to sell things on sites such as eBay and suddenly Microsoft had a huge problem. If they came down hard on those who had used a single number for many installations they might quite easily close down the systems of some of the larges computer users in the world. It is rumoured that the first day that Microsoft tried to harden up their update procedure the very first organisation to loose its updates belonged to….the North Wales Police Force!

The requirement was quickly and quietly removed. Microsoft had to think again, quickly!

For the reasons explained above therefore until now Microsoft have been policing (!) their registration keys with a very light touch….until now!

Microsoft now reckon that the latest updates to their operating system means that it is very secure from invasion and hacking (yes, I said Microsoft now reckon…) so were some updates to go uninstalled it wouldn’t be the end of the world, not for Microsoft anyway. A second and rather more compelling argument is that within a few months Windows XP will be old, ancient, in fact to many as old as Windows 98. There is a new Windows coming out this Autumn called “Windows Vista” which will have a massive publicity at launch. So were large users to suddenly find that some of their machines were to “go wrong”, i.e. have software failures, it might be just the nudge that they needed to look at getting the “latest and greatest” new operating system Windows Vista!

For this reason there is every chance that when you next switch on your computer you may get a polite gold coloured notice appear in the bottom right corner of your screen saying that unless or until you “verify” your installation you will get no more updates, even vital ones.  

Following on from this it doesn’t take much stretching of the imagination to see that the next warning might say…”If you don’t verify your installation within 28..27..26.. days then your operating system will prevent you altering any data on your computer”. Just as happens now when you don’t activate Windows XP on first installation. Note, we don’t think they will ever prevent you actually accessing your data as this would apparently be illegal in some areas of the world. Areas EXCEPT the United States where such restriction to data IS legal. So if your computer system has been set up to the default settings by an idiot then it will think that it is in the USA despite being here in Sussex. In this case, and you can tell this if when you type an @ (at symbol) you get another symbol) it’s time to be afraid, be VERY afraid!

We were going to stop here but then received a very valid question…

“What happens if I perform a “Genuine Advantage Verification” and then accept Microsoft’s recommendations to try and make my installation legal?

Well it would be great to report that Microsoft said.. ”Thank you for your honesty, we will reward you with a new valid key for just a few dollars. After all your system is working ok, and we don’t actually have to do anything except sell you a new 25 figure key”.

Unfortunately Microsoft don’t only THINK money, they ARE money, so instead they will expect you to pay them well over the shop price for a valid key. THIS IS MADNESS! It has been possible to buy in the UK a 100% legal copy of Windows Home for just over £50 including VAT. Unfortunately you cannot (legally) use this key to make your present Windows system legal unless you rub the whole hard drive clean and start all over again! Yes, you have to loose everything on your computer and start with a “clean installation” to make your machine legally acceptable to Microsoft. There ARE ways around this, but these take time and you will certainly have to pay an experienced engineer for several hours work to install this system – with the continuing risk of losing data. Indeed even Microsoft warn you that you may lose all your data if you use their expensive update! Add to this the fact that when you reinstall Windows you may well find that your Word and other Microsoft programmes won’t run on the new more modern version of Windows. – This does happen quite often!

So what is the best thing to do? Buy a new computer, with the latest operating system, erm, that’s Microsoft Vista isn’t it? Now we are not suggesting that Microsoft are doing anything illegal but they did set up the system in the first place. Do you understand why Bill Gates is so rich, and why there are organisations out there whose sole purpose in life is to sidestep Microsoft at every step?

On line computer help

We regularly get villagers 'phoning us up with their computer problems. Whilst we are happy to help please remember that we sometimes don't have the time to advise you there and then. Therefore if you can get on line we ask that instead of ringing us you email your request. We are then very happy to give you a considered reply to your query and we intend to publish some of the more interesting replies here - without naming any names of course! Please send your questions to the address at the foot of this and every page.

Until we get some questions sent in to us here are a couple of telephoned questions that we have recently answered...

My printer has lost one colour, I have replaced the ink cartridge without any difference.

We found out that the owner had tried cleaning the print head by running several "purge" cycles without effect and suggested that as the printer was several years old the best bet would be to buy a new printer as the print head was obviously completely blocked. Unfortunately the design of inkjet printers means that if they are not used regularly ink residues will gradually build up and one of the colours will eventually become totally clogged. Whilst you can try using a solvent to clean the print head this seldom works for long as the holes through which the ink runs are microscopic and will simply clog again - that's if you can even get at the fixed print head at all!

The main difference between old printers and newer ones is that when you replace the ink cartridge on modern models you actually replace the print head at the same time - problem solved at a stroke! WH Smith have some Lexmark printers for just £30. Obviously these come with a very small quantity of ink so you will have to buy a new cartridge very soon. There is also a printer scanner for just under £50.

If your printer is a specialised or very expensive model then we could try replacing the print head but the cost would almost certainly be uneconomic - and that's if the parts were still available. If the model is much over a year old they won't be!


I can't get my brand new wireless laptop to connect to my home network.

This was a simple one! Quite simply the new laptop, a Dell model, had a built in wireless card. The owner had bought a Netgear router complete with a free USB "dongle" receiver. Her computer got very confused with both receivers connected at the same time especially as she had also installed the Windows 98 drivers on her XP system!

The answer was to remove the dongle and then perform a Windows system restore to bring the computer back to how it was when it was delivered, which neatly removed the faulty drivers and any registry references to the unneeded Netgear dongle. Windows XP has very useful device called system restore which regularly "takes a picture" of the complete computer system settings. If you get a problem you can reset your computer back to how it was, hopefully removing any new problems at the same time.

Answer 2 to what appeared to be the same problem. This was far more interesting. The computer, a laptop had been happily chugging away for a year or more but was now required to connect to the wireless box supplied by new ISP. Trouble was the computer was sold as "wireless ready" which is a clever marketing ruse which is fortunately becoming less common. "Ready" means there is a hole in the base where a wireless modem can be fitted. It wasn't supplied with this particular economy model! Price for the correct modem (naturally it was non standard) was almost as much as a new computer! The solution? The spare dongle from the above resident - we put the two villagers in contact!

Now say it's not useful asking your local computer experts!

 
 
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